I like my coffee black. Strong and black. I’ve always been this way. I used to occasionally drink coffee with flavored creamer in it, but I don’t anymore. I think using creamer or sugar or whatever takes away the best part about the coffee-the bitter bean taste. I love it. I was raised on it. I guess that’s something that’s always been a constant in my life.
It’s early. It’s 8:22 in the morning. I am once again sober. I’m at “work” which is really watching my 95 year old grandma all day. Not that she’s like a vegetable or anything, she just needs someone to help her get up and down the stairs, and keep her on track because she forgets a lot. I love it. It’s the perfect job for me… for now.
I want to work with kids. I want to open my own daycare one day, if I can’t be a stay at home mom. Being a stay at home mom is what I really would love to do. I’ve started on getting my child care certification… but I get so lazy, I’m scared that I’m not going to finish and never get my certification. I hate being so lazy, I hate that I lose motivation so quickly.
I got high last night, and listened to music that I hadn’t listened to yet while high. That’s my favorite part about being high, is listening to music. It was Chance the Rapper’s mixtape Acid Rap. I’ve listened to it sober plenty of times, but it’s even better when high. I also like that being high gives me an appetite because if I’m not high, I really struggle to eat. Or sleep, that’s a good benefit, too. I love sleeping when I’m high.
I’m hoping to have a good day today. I’m at my dad’s house watching my grandma from 7:45 AM – 10 PM. So it’ll be pretty uneventful. I might even write again.